LCM: Topman SS13

Thanks to London's gift to mankind - London Collections: Men - Christmas came a bit earlier this year. The spring collections are generally my only hope for Topman, seeing as how their entire design team must call in sick when it becomes time to work on the fall collections. In the weeks prior to the spring showing, I scoured the Internet in search of something, anything, any morsel that would reveal what would be sauntering down the runway on June 15. The fruits of my quest were a picture inspired by the artist Jean-Michel Basquiat and a few other snapshots of California boys skateboarding. Great, I thought, tent-like tees and baggy ass jeans. What a waste.

California skateboarding and the like were definitely referenced, not in the dirty skatepark way I imagined, but rather in an intelligent way that was both an interpretation of the West Coast and youth culture in general. There were fluorescents, bold prints, mesh, athletic influences, and a close cousin of the Dexter Wong Boiler Suit from Spring 2010 that I've been coveting since January 2009. Topman not only offered me choice garments, but redemption as well. I mean, in what world are perforated biker jackets, blazers, and shorts not a must? On second thought, don't tell me because I'd hate to know such a heinous world exists. There were also cute shoes that can only be described as Pilgrim-Gladiator, and although I highly doubt the pilgrims and gladiators ever shared a meal, I am grateful for their sartorial offspring. My fingers are permanently crossed in hopes that those shoes get made in at least one color. Shown in black, white, and orange, the ladder would be a more than welcome addition to my growing tribe of footwear.

I pray to the fashion gods that be that my favorite pieces make it to production. A lot of people don't realize that most of what is shown on the runway never gets made (at least not exactly as shown). A lot of things get redesigned or even thrown out in the months between the show and the clothing racks, thanks to buyers and a need for sellable products. Buyers will say "I can't sell this in a neon orange, but I could if you made it black" and so begins many a collection's slow death. One of the great things about a designer or brand opening their own store is that they can display their clothing as they see fit. All those crazy cooky garments have a place to call home. It's one of, if not the main reason I prefer flagships to department stores.

But even Topshop/Topman, with their international fleet of stores, can't make whatever they please. In order to be profitable, people have to buy their product and in order for people to buy their product they have to like what they see. Unfortunately the majority of the world isn't too daring when it comes to dressing. So a lot pieces don't get made because it would mean a financial loss to the company, not to mention an even bigger loss to my wardrobe. Topman is also near and dear because I can actually buy the pieces I see on the runway. A lot of the time I watch shows and I think "I love that but where am I gonna buy that? Sometimes they pop up on an obscure website other times I have to make-do with an "inspired by" look. At least with Topman I know that (some version of) what's hanging off the models will be hanging in my closet next season.

How To Survive A Zombie Apocalypse In Style

My news outlets are bursting with stories about recent zombie-like attacks. And when I say "news outlets" I mean text messages and my Facebook news feed; hardly CNN or The New York Times, but nevertheless trusted sources. When someone dies, I log onto Facebook. I get my news from the people. The offenders' behavior is said to be a result of drug use. "Bath salts" in one and PCP in another. Personally, I've never known drugs to cause someone to eat a face off. They've maybe caused a few to believe they lost their face, but never eat one off. This is some zombie stuff the government is trying to cover up. Somewhere some drug trial participant went rogue. All signs point to Florida. In any case, preparation is key. But what do we honestly have to look forward to? 28 Days Later, Resident Evil, and The Walking Dead all predict tattered clothing and soleless shoes. No, I'm not going out like that. If the zombie apocalypse comes, I have to do it in style.

Shoes

I've always been an opponent of athletic footwear. I never run, so I don't see the point in wearing running shoes. I've always chosen look over feel. In a perfect apocalypse, I could walk for miles in the new pair of bejeweled oxfords I bought, but these things rarely work out the way you want them to. Thankfully, fashion sneakers have become a recent trend. Isabel Marant, Marc Jacobs, Raf Simons, Prada - lots of designers have looked to the sneaker for inspiration. If I absolutely must wear sneakers, all I ask is that you remove them should I get bitten. Regardless of how sneakers have infiltrated the realm of high fashion, I cannot die in them. I at least want my reanimated corpse to look polished. I do recommend you carry a pair of stylish shoes, just in case you run into some high-profile survivors. If you just can't picture life without pumps, even with a zombie gnawing at your ankle, you could always use the heel to impale your attacker. Spiked heels are great for this occasion, the perfect way to show those zombies you're not to be messed with. And when you want to maintain your Alice (Resident Evil) impression and rest your feet, there's always spiked flats. (Steve Madden Silver Studded Flat, Jeffrey Campbell Lita Spike 2, Jeffrey Campbell, Tawny, Blink Aeroo Metal Sneaker, Raf Simons Hi-Top Sneakers, Adidas Originals by Jeremy Scott Wings and Stars Hi-Top Sneakers)

Jackets

The good news is many utility jackets are already stylish. I myself have been looking for the perfect military jacket for ages, spending many afternoons digging through bins at The Army Navy surplus. During the apocalypse, it's imperative that one find a jacket made of durable fabric, something protective and posh. A denim, leather, or whatever those military jackets are made of. Some are more expensive than others, but think of it as an investment. This is your life we're talking about. (Zara Combined Sections Parka, H&M Leather Jacket, Adidas Slvr Fencing Jacket, Topman x Oliver Spencer Denim Biker, Maison Martin Margiela Military Jacket)

Bags

Rule# 1: huge handbags are back in. Those cute little clutches that are so hot right now aren't going to carry a damn thing. You can't fight a zombie with a credit card and lip gloss. Maybe a clutch would work for evening slayings, but for the everyday you're gonna need something that says "I mean business" or "Don't eat me. Eat the girl wearing a fanny pack" at the very least.  And depending on its size and weight it could also be used to bludgeon a few "walkers". (Baggu Endlessly Useful Emerald Shopper Bag, Topshop Box Chain Leather Bag, Chanel Overnight Bag, Alexander Wang Golf Bag, Pieces Olya Bag)

Pants
I love micro shorts. In fact, that's probably an understatement. I worship at the altar of micro shorts. I've been known to rile up a few construction workers in a pair (they thought I was a girl). So it pains me to say this, but they just won't do in this kind of world. You need pants. Even as I write this, the voices of every adult I've ever known repeating the same thing echoes in my head. You don't want to get bit by something and then die because you couldn't get your hands on some antibiotics. Not after all the heads you've severed. The best bet would be a pair of skinny jeans. Cut close to the body to maximize speed. No more talk about the Wide Leg Trouser coming back. The WLT can sit its ass down. That's a pant for safer times. (Julius Patch Skinny Jean, Mango Rolling Jean, Moto Jaguar Metallic Leigh Jeans, Ksubi Van Winkle Skinny Jean)

Shirts

You won't have time to button your favorite blouse when your neighbor is trying chew off your arm. The Zombie Apocalypse is going to be all about zippers, Velcro, and throwing things on. Buttons will become a luxury you can't afford. The basic tee is a practical choice. What does every rugged hero wear in every action movie? A basic tee. But not just any basic tee, opt for a slimmer, fitted cut. 1. Zombies can easily grab onto loose fabric and 2. No one ever said you had to be a sloppy looking zombie slayer.  (Carven Crossover T-Shirt, Hanes Basic Tee, Comme des Garçons Shirt Fine Rib Tee, 3.1 Phillip Lim Draped T-Shirt, Givenchy Cutout Tank, T by Alexander Wang Sheer Short Sleeve Jersey Tee)

Accessories 

Wear all the spikiest rings, bracelets, and necklaces you can find. Simple. (Topshop Pearl Spike Ring, ASOS Spike Clamp Bangle, Pamela Love Spiked Resin Cuff, ASOS Rocco Articulated Statement Necklace)

Gloves

One useful piece that is often overlooked. You don't want to get brain under those nails. (Ann Demeulemeester Lace-Up Glove, Hayatochiri Yellow Spiked Glove, ASOS Lace Gloves, Forzieri Women's Red Perforated Italian Leather Gloves, Romwe Half Hand Black Gloves)

Weaponry

Eventually you will need real weapons, other than the ones you wear. The Walking Dead has taught us to go for more silent killers - crossbows, knives - generally found in dark or muted colors, but in today's DIY world you could always buy some rhinestones and bedazzle those suckers before the shit really hits the fan. 

Now, some of these pieces are ridiculously expensive. Others are not. I tried to create a mix of high and low. When making purchasing decisions, consider this: If the banks fall, which they probably will, money will be worthless. There will be no such thing as credit card debt, student loans, or America's massive debt to China. I'm certainly not suggesting you go out and blow all your money on cute clothes. Save your cash for underneath your mattress. The items I've chosen are meant to inspire. Except for the Chanel bag, I'm going after that hardcore. Trust me, once the electricity fails, rendering security alarms obsolete, Chanel will be my first stop. Take the Julius jeans, for instance: If you're willing to pay $885 for a pair of shredded jeans, you deserve to get eaten by a zombie. But Topman produced a similar pair for their Topman Design Fall 2010 collection. Track those down. Consider it practice for when you're hunting squirrels for dinner.