A plague has fallen upon the male gender. No, not male pattern baldness, but the arguably more serious inability to identify, purchase, and wear clothes that actually fit. Generations of males are subjected to ill-fitting clothes, completely unaware of their sartorial salvation. I honestly don't understand the fear. Do men believe a pair of pants that actually covers their ass will render them unattractive (or unattracted) to the opposite sex? Fitted clothes don't make you gay fellas. (That intimate kiss you shared with your "buddy" probably does, but "No homo", right?) If that were the case, then conversely, wearing baggy clothing would make you straight. And that just ain't true.
When I was younger, my mother bought my clothes. I remember she would always get size 34 pants, Large t-shirts, size 40 suit jackets. I eventually came to think these were my real measurements - a 12 year-old with the body proportions of Quasimodo.
I never questioned the clothing. Everyone seemed to dress the same way so I just assumed this was how boys dressed on their way to becoming men, but looking back on old photos, I didn't look more like a man. I looked more like a mess. My pants never fit me right. They would bunch awkwardly at the front, sliding further and further to the side as I moved. By the end of the day, my belt buckle was headed towards my hips. Thankfully, no one saw it, due to the tents I wore as t-shirts. My collars slouched sloppily to one side, making it impossible to layer properly, and the bottoms of button ups poofed out creating an extreme muffin top.
When I began to buy my own clothes, I found fashion and discovered that fitted pants didn't bring on the apocalypse. It seems ridiculous that even now tight clothes are considered feminine. Fitted clothes are considered too tight. I firmly believe men (and women) shouldn't wear clothes that are too tight. Thread and fabric can only stretch so far.
There's nothing like a man in clothes that fit. When worn properly, they can accentuate the curvature of his body in the most flattering way - perfectly wrapping around his arms, proudly accentuating his chest. In baggy clothes, you just look lost.
Tragically, there are tons of men out there who are still afflicted, cluelessly wondering the Men's Warehouses and Big & Tall stores of the world, wearing jackets that could shelter a small family. I can no longer allow this disease to ravage them. I encourage, no beg, the men of this world to wear clothes that actually fit. Know your actual measurements, not the ones your Mama gave you. Clothing is designed to flatter the body, not consume it.
