Prescription Picc #002

Somewhere deep in the remote jungles of Africa lives is a tribe of Glamazons called Proenza Schouler. Instead of fighting with hand-crafted spears, they use high heels. They live in huts that bear a striking resemblance to Manhattan studio apartments. Tribe Proenza live on a diet of coffee beans (non fat) and their tribal makeup is washed off and reapplied every morning, not to mention retouched throughout the day.

Finding pendants that ward off evil spirits or increase fertility to be useless, the Proenza have created these necklaces to ensure a fruitful fashion week and to actually increase infertility. There's no way they would be able to squeeze into those one-of-a-kind grass skirts with baby weight.

From watching National Geographic, I've learned that spirituality is important to isolated tribes like this. While most are polytheistic, the Proenza pray to only one deity - the one they call Anna Wintour. They do not mingle with other tribes, but instead travel in cliques wearing the jewelry pictured above.

Luckily, you don't have to book a flight and rent a jeep to get a taste of their wares. Thanks to the information age, you can go on over to the Proenza Schouler online shop and place an order for either necklace. At a starting price of $450 each, I wish I could prescribe some kind of discount.

Fear not, H&M offers their slightly more nautical, greatly more affordable version (pictured below) for the Summer 2011 season:

  
I renamed this series Prescription Piccs after the PICC line I had painfully implanted (Seriously, I've never heard a doctor say "Oops, messed up. Just give me one more chance" before); which soon started to malfunction and was later removed. A PICC (peripherally inserted central catheter) line is basically an implanted tube that runs under the skin, up the arm, and empties into the main vein of the heart. It's called a PICC. These pieces are picked. See the wordplay at work here?